1. Ask for a favor
We are talking about an effect known as the effect of Benjamin Franklin. Once Franklin needed to win the favor of a man who did not like him. Franklin then politely asked the man to lend him a rare book and get the desired, even more politely thanked him. Earlier this person to avoid even talking to him, but after this incident, they became friends.
This story is repeated over and over again. The bottom line is that those who once did you a favor, more willing to do it again compared to the man who somewhat indebted to you. The explanation is simple – a person decides that the time you have something to ask him, and then themselves in case of need, respond to his request, so he should do the same as you.
2. Require more
This technique is called “The Door in the forehead.” It is necessary to ask a person to do more than you really want to get away. You can also ask to do something ridiculous. Rather, he refuses. Shortly thereafter, boldly asking what they wanted from the very beginning – people feel uncomfortable due to the fact that you refused the first time, and if you ask for something reasonable is now, will feel obligated to help.
3. Call the person by name
The famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie believes that to call a person by name is incredibly important. The proper name for anyone – this is the most pleasant combination of sounds. It – an essential part of life, so his utterance as it confirms human fact of its existence. And this, in turn, causes the experience positive emotions in relation to the one who utters the name.
Similarly, it affects the use of a title, social status or the very form of treatment. If you behave in a certain way, then you will be treated that way. For example, if you call a man his friend, he will soon feel the friendly feelings towards you. And if you want someone to work, call him boss.
At first glance the tactic is obvious, but there are some caveats. If your flattery does not look genuine, it will bring more harm than good. Researchers have found that people tend to look for cognitive balance, trying to keep their thoughts and feelings are always the same. So, if you flatter people with high self-esteem and sincere flattery sounds, you will like them because they acknowledge their own thoughts.
But flattery towards people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings, because your words contradict their opinion about themselves. Of course, this does not mean that such people should be humiliated – because you’re certainly not their sympathy will win.
Reflection is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method in a natural way, without even thinking about what they do: automatically copy someone else’s behavior, manner of speech, and even gestures. However, this technique can be used quite deliberately.
People tend to relate better to those who like them. No less curious fact that if a recent conversation someone “reflected” behavior, then that person will be for some time, and pleasant to communicate with other people, even if they have nothing to do with the conversation had not. The reason, most likely, the same as in the case of an appeal by the name – interlocutor behavior confirms the very existence of the person.
6. Use your opponent’s fatigue
When a person gets tired, it becomes more susceptible to other people’s words, whether a request or an application. The reason is that fatigue affects not only the body but also reduces the level of psychic energy.
When you ask a favor of a tired man, you will probably get an answer like, “Okay, I’ll do it tomorrow” – because at the moment people are no more problems to solve not want. But the next day a person is likely to fulfill the promise – people tend to try to keep his word, because otherwise receive psychological discomfort.
7. Suggest that from which will be awkward to refuse
This technique, reverse step number two. Rather than go directly to the large request, try to start small. If a person helped you with something small, it is more willing to execute the request and more important. Scientists have tested the method with regard to marketing.
They began to agitate the people to express support with respect to the environment and the conservation of tropical forests.
Pretty easy, please, do not you? When people perform the required, they were asked to buy food – all proceeds will be directed to the preservation of most of these forests, of course. Most people have done that, too.
But be careful: do not ask first one and then just completely different. It is much more effective to wait a day or two.
8. Know how to listen
To speak to someone that he is not right – not the best way to win a man. The effect is likely to be counterproductive. There is another way to express dissent and thus not to make an enemy. For example, listen to what your partner says and try to understand that in doing so he feels and why.
Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposite views and can use it to explain its position. Express the first agreement – so people will concern more attentively to your words followed.
9. Repeat for the companion
One of the most effective ways to gain the rights and show that you really understand it – is to paraphrase what he says. Say the same thing, only in their own words.
This technique is known as a more reflective listening. So often come psychotherapists – people tell them more about themselves and between doctor and patient are arranged almost friendly relations.
This technique is easy to use when talking with your friends. Formulate just told them how to phrase the question – so you show that listened and understood the man, and he would be more comfortable with you. He will also listen more to your opinion, because you have already made it clear that he is not indifferent to you.
When people are nodding, listening to something, it usually means that they agree with the speaker. And for a person naturally assume that when someone nods in conversation with him, it also means you agree. This is the same effect of mimicry. So nod throughout the conversation with the man – then it will help you convince the interlocutor in your right.